See you later February...it's been real

Mommy/Willsy selfie. First day of basketball fun/Willsy with the ball. Someone is a tad excited for the first day of basketball. 100th day of school fun, and where has the time gone? Two sickies becoming Picasso's on a cold, winter day. Early wake up, calls for a nap at 7am with the weighted blanket. Double ear infections and a dump truck...ugh. One of the many weighted lap pads I have made this month for Eli's Weighted Blankets. Someone running free at Will's basketball practice.

Early morning ER visit when Eli was very sick. High fever, double ear infections and an upper respiratory infection. No fun. Method of weighted blanket/lap pad making. Chevron lap pad for an amazing 11 year old. Someone doing a #2 behind that curtain. Potty training is in the near future. Eli painting for the very first time, a huge step forward! Proud and happy mommy here. Batman lap pad for Will, who is already doing great things at school with it.

Eli

I am hoping that one day, when I read this again, that I will be like...see everything is ok.

Eli...when you look deep into my eyes, I feel like I am really seeing you. When you make that connection and our eyes meet, if only for a second, I feel like I know you. I do know you. But, I don't know what your words sound like. It makes my heart ache. Do you get what I am saying? Your little body and mind get so jumbled that it is so hard for you to connect to the here and now. So..when you turn and look at me, really look I feel like I am seeing my little guy for the very first time. I cherish those bit and pieces.

Sometimes they don't happen every day, that's ok. I know you are taking your time and I have started to cope. You are your own being. Constantly running, jumping, stepping off the couch and the bed. Literally. It used to make me nervous, but not anymore. You always land on your feet. In fact you get satisfaction out of it. Last night you even climbed on top of your peddle car with Will in it. Crazy. That, made my heart jump!

I am learning so much about you, and what your body and mind are going through. I read everything I can. I've joined support groups, and try and implement anything I learn, to help you. This week we are going to try joint compressions and brushing with your occupational therapist, which seems to help a lot of kiddos. Keeping my fingers crossed but I'm not going to get upset if it doesn't work. You will do it when you are ready. Your weighted vest is almost here! It is suppose to help you focus and calm all those sensory seeking actions.

I am trying baby. I just want you to know that. I am doing everything I can to help you. We tried so hard to conceive you, so I will never give up.

Love you more than air.

Mommy

Baby Steps

We have had a good week in our house. First, someone got his haircut. This is an impossible fete, as we have tried everything from kiddie cuts, to adult cuts, to mommy cuts. Today, it was a mommy cut. This time we had a weighted blanket in are arsenal and Thomas on the big screen. I have to say, he was amazing! Some tears and annoyance, but he eventually got used to it and was trooper. Not the best hair cut, but at least my little guy can see.

I was able to give his therapists their weighted lap pads, which they loved. So glad that I was able to make them, and know that they will be used by many kids each week. With the bitter cold, he was only able to see two of his therapists this week.  He did awesome at both sessions and really stayed in tune with what was going on. He allowed hand over hand signing, which he is not a fan of. He has stacked blocks after blocks and has even allowed big brother to help him. He really does love the ladies that come and help him, he is not shy and will sit right on their laps. Loves when they blow bubbles, he often does his little happy dance. Yesterday he got to experience beans and puffs together. Eli made quite the mess, but it was awesome to see how much he enjoyed it. Sticking his toes in it, stirring them up, and he even helped pick up a couple of them. 

Randomly, Eli has given out kisses this week. He's not overly affectionate. But, does love sitting on your lap and snuggling. Which we take as his affection. Yesterday, he gave me 5 in a row! I had given him his dinner and milk. He grabbed my arm and with his open mouth, gave me a kiss. Then I got four more after that, just to be sure he gave them. It seriously brought tears to my eyes and warmed my heart.

Will and Eli have been playing a little bit more together.  I have been trying to read books that both of them are interested in, although Eli doesn't last long. Will is reading small books, with help from us. I can't wait for the day that I see the boys together and Will reading to Eli. 

More snow coming tomorrow, 9-12 inches! Will is excited and yes he and I will be sledding tomorrow. Life with my boys, might be crazy and challenging. But, I wouldn't have it any other way.

New haircut and his weighted blanket!

Mario Party!

Mr. Will celebrated his big 6th birthday this past week. Hence the reason for the long absence. I have been busy making and baking things for this party. My days were consumed with Mario projects. I made mario and luigi hats for all his friends, made all the games and most of the decorations. We had a candy bar with mario themed treats, that were a huge hit.  Will was over the moon excited and was thrilled when his friends started arriving.

We even got to have Aunt Mimi come in from Virginia to help out and visit.  So glad she was able to swing it, even if it was a quick trip. Love our Mimi!

1.Mine craft excitement 2.Hugging bff M for the Lego movie legos 3.Waiting at O'hare for Auntie Mimi's plane 4.Official birthday ice cream sundae and a cake pop 5.Pin the stache on Mario 6.Birthday morning excitement 7.Someone helping mommy sew a weighted lap pad 8.Birthday boy dressed to impress for his school day 9.Play room madness at the birthday party 10.Lap pad made for a very special baby 11.Mario table prepped and ready for little hands

 1.Mario and Mario...so serious 2.Love Mario 3.Silly Mario 4.Power up Mario

1.Mario and Luigi selfies 2. Silly Eli loves being upside down 3.Sister selfie 4.Mommy Mario selfie 5.Mommy and squirmy wormy, Eli 6.Boys in their new Pj's from Auntie Mimi, who spoiled them rotten(thanks! love you.)

Catching up...

I have made a promise to myself, that I must update this little blog of mine at least once a week.  Not only to remember these special moments, but to see how far we have come.  We are on a long journey for sure, but I wouldn't have it any other way.  Without my 3 boys, my heart would be empty.

Baby boy enjoying the snow and the sounds of the snow plows up and down our street.  Little Hart Hart loves the snow and playing with her brother's in it.  Eli loves sledding but would much rather take in all the sounds of winter.  A long over due photo of Halloween.  They were so cute and Will was beyond thrilled that he was Mario!  He's even having a Mario party for his upcoming 6th Birthday! What! Eli enjoying a little play time at his gym class.  He'd much rather run all over the soccer field. Whatever gets him tired is fine by me.  He is a bundle of energy. Willsy and his Mario stache.  He is the king of make believe with such a wild imagination.  I am one lucky mama! Will, the snow kid enjoying his winter holiday by sledding, non stop. Getting crafty with mom for a school project.  He is just so kissable.

Updates: Eli has been incorporating new sounds into his vocabulary.  The "ish" is more prevalent along with "da" and "ma". Has been doing awesome with fine motor skills, like coloring with bath crayons, and putting blocks in the right spots. His gross motor skills have always been amazing, but now he thinks he can literally step off the couch, jump from the side of the couch and double step the stairs. Que freaked out mama, I have had my heart skip a beat on many occasions.

He still pats his belly or flaps his arms when he is waiting/excited about something that is getting ready to happen.  Toe walks.  Has had a couple "terrible twos" tantrums. Loves water!  Splashes, and dumps water in his head in the bath. Enjoys having his weighted blanket on him when watching Thomas or Super Why. Overall we have seen tons of improvement but still no definite words. February with mark 30 months and that is when we will most likely be seeing a developmental pediatrician.  Which will give us a bit more information about Eli.  Nervous and anxious is an understatement, but I am staying positive because he really is such a smart little guy.

As for my Will, he was so thankful to go back to school after a long winter break. We had numerous snow days and bitter cold temperatures that left us inside.  He really enjoyed Christmas this year and it was amazing to see it through his eyes.  It makes the holidays so much easier to see their smiling faces light up with each toy they open.  He is getting ready to turn 6 in just 13 days!  EEK.  That means I have been blogging for 6 years!  So hard to believe that he is becoming such a big boy.  He wanted to do a home party and invite his friends from school.  Should be interesting since we live in a town house, but we are going to make it work.  We are having a Mario party and he and I have been busy planning away.  I can't wait for it all to come together and see the excitement on party day.

Will is reading!  It is shocking.  A kid that hated coloring, didn't want to write, now loves doing it all. He was so upset when we had three snow days and wanted to go back to school.  He told me he needed to get his learn on!  Hilarious. He is quite the history buff and currently loves watching or reading anything about Titanic.  Hoping we can find a documentary for him because he is obsessed.

As for me, I have applied to many gyms but a lot are either too far or just not hiring.  I guess living in a small town, I can expect that.  That's why I have decided to put my sewing/crafting skills to good use. I am going to start a little business that helps kids with sensory processing disorder, sleep and autism. I mentioned before that I made Eli's weighted blanket for him and how much it has helped.  So...I am going to make blankets and lap pads.  At least for now.  It is going to be called Eli's Weighted Blankets.  I'm going to use the face book outlet and possibly etsy.  I am still getting prices and measurements together, so hopefully by February, I will have something to show. I am really excited to get started and hopefully help others.

Happy Weekend!

Being Honest...

I have been meaning to write about this for a while.  Not only for personal reference, but to see how far we have come.

It's about my littlest dude, Eli.  The one that we tried to conceive for over a year, the one we found out about on Valentine's Day, the one that melts our hearts with his smile.

He's wordless. He does talk, but in his own language.  Lots of sounds that you can't make out. Believe me, he is loud and fiercely independent.  Only says, "dadadada", to hear himself.  Only says, "maaaa" when he needs my attention RIGHT now.  Makes the sound of his favorite thing in the whole world, "choo choo". Just recently said. "ishy" for fish when we were at the store and wanted to see the fish. Sometimes we will get, "Z" for big brother Willsy.

He communicates in his own way, taking our hand to what he needs or wants.  Opens the pantry to show us what he would like from there.  Goes to the fridge to let us know he wants milk.  He is very consistent with these tendencies and I'm glad for that.  Hence his fiercely independent nature.

We noticed his delay, when he stopped saying the words he had already picked up, like mama, dada, einstein, and bites.  At his 18 month check up, we discussed this and decided that we should look into getting speech therapy for him.  It took a while to get everything set up, but Eli is now getting therapy three times a week. He sees a speech, developmental, and an occupational therapist for an hour each week.  I will say that there has been a definite improvement developmentally and emotionally.  He loves to be held by us, get tight bear hugs, and loves to give brother hugs. Although, the speech is a slow process, you can see him trying.  He does not like to sign, so I have pretty much given up on that.  I try to get him to talk more when he is wanting something from me. Usually that means that I do not respond to his initial request right away, and he gives in and grunts, mama.

I am not going to lie or sugar coat this, like my heart has been trying to do.  Autism has been brought up by the pediatrician and shot down by the occupational therapist. She doesn't believe he is on the spectrum.  He emotionally connected with her, gives her great eye contact and was engaged.  Autistic children tend to be in their own world and want things there way.  Routine.  Eli does have some "autistic" tendencies like tip toe walking, walking on surface that feel "different", loves routine, and sensory seeking.  All his therapists at this point think he has a severe sensory disorder which has caused most of his delays.

I am doing anything and everything I can to assist him on this "adventure".  I have made him a weighted blanket, which helps sensory seekers focus more. Also, thinking about starting a little weighted blanket business to help little ones. (More on that later.) We do a drop in play at our rec center to get all the wiggles out.  Rock, run, jump on couch cushions and our new trampoline.  All in hopes that we will get some words out of our little guy.

My heart is heavy most days.  By the end of the day, I'm exhausted.  Eli is a challenge.  But, I wouldn't trade him for anything in the whole world.  He is my little love bug, who gives me a smooch when I put him to bed. His smile brightens up your day. And when he runs to you after you have been gone, there is nothing like it.  I am bound and determined to help him through this.  This is our journey.

Holy Batman...We're Back!

Time to dust off the blog.  Wow!  Did not think the last time I was on here was July.  Life happens, and blogging takes a back burner.

Instead of trying to fill in 2 months worth of stuff, I will just start off with the Will's first day of school. He started August 20th, on a hot summer day with both his mom and dad there to see him off.  His teacher is amazing, a veteran and it is exactly what Will needs. He has done so well adjusting to full day kindergarten, but boy do I miss him!  He also has brought home a couple colds and a stomach flu.  No fun.  Hoping all those germs are building his little immune system.  

Will sits next to girls, which has been a blessing.  He now loves to color and is very meticulous when it comes to doing his homework.  I think those girls have motivated him and I like it!

Of course I can't leave my littlest dude out.  He started speech therapy this week.  He is going to have his hearing tested in two weeks and I am trying my hardest to come up with things that he enjoys.  He loves trains and cars and makes the sound of them all the time.  Good thing we live near the train station, which we try and go by everyday.  My little guy has had me so worried, that every spare minute I have, I want to spend nurturing and loving on him.

So...this is not the last of us.  We will be back, I promise.