My Boys . . .

Life is proving to be full of love, laughter, and some tears with my boys. All good. I never thought I would be able to handle 2 on my own but this week, I am. Lew went back to work this week, so I am on my own.

The first week home with Eli was definitely a challenge for me. Breast feeding was a challenge, my hormones were out of control and I had a mini melt down. I realized that I cannot do everything and I cannot beat myself up for things that I cannot do. Even when my best attempt is given, I often beat myself up.

I suffered from and am still getting over it through medication, post partum depression. I didn't have it with Will but this time around, I just felt hopeless, and like the worst mom in the world.

After a wonderful conversation with my doctor, who put things in perspective for me, I am starting to feel a little better.

I am appreciating Lew and my boys more, as well as soaking up this special time.

It will be a journey but it is a journey worth taking.

sick puppy...

My sweet Will was sick for Halloween but still wanted to go trick or treating. He doesn't really care about the candy, he just had fun going house to house. So, more for mommy and daddy!

Hopefully I will have time this coming week to actually do a "real" post. Life is proving to be full with my family of four and I'm okay with that.

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eli

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welcome to our world...

Our little Elias "Eli" came on the day we hoped for!!! At 12:54 am today we were blessed with our little guy. He weighs 7lbs 12oz and 23" long. I feel like the luckiest momma in the world with my boys.

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News Flash . . .

There is still no baby. Little dude #2 is obviously very stubborn. My sister is wondering how I can walk around 4 cm and not be in labor, I thought the same thing for the first day. Then soon realized I could be like this tell his actual due date on the 30th!

I have had some contractions but nothing regular enough to head to the hospital for. We are still pulling for the 23rd and hoping that that is what little dude has in mind too!

If not, I see my ob on Monday morning and we are going to talk induction. I think she will probably be surprised to see me considering she thought I could go any day.

In other news, Daddy and Will went on his second field trip ever...to a Pumpkin Patch/Farm and Will had a blast! I got to have some alone time and watched Brides Maids. Hilarious! Anyway, I am hoping to post some pictures of Will's trip with Daddy later. Lew said he was so good, listened, talked to friends and was so loving to all the animals. Kind of wish I went but glad they got some bonding time. I got a big ole' hug and smoochie as he calls it when he got home followed by, "I missed you SO much momma!" I always miss him when I am without him. It will definitely be hard being in the hospital and not seeing him off to bed.

Did I mention I have been walking everyday...walked 4 miles at the mall the other day and not one contraction? Oh..well, he will come when he is ready.

Oh Baby...

38 weeks and 2 days. Little dude #2 is still in there. I had my ob appointment today and am now 4cm dialated. She says I could go any day. That's what she thought last week too. I am beginning to wonder if this kid is ever coming out!

If he doesn't come by next Monday which will be my 39 week check up, we are going to start the talk of inducing. Don't really want that but seeing how I have dialated this much, I think I will be okay with it all.

I have had really irregular contractions over the last couple of days, so hoping that they will get more consistent. Maybe this little dude wants to stay put tell the 23rd like his Daddy and big brother. Who knows.

After my appointment today I cleaned like a mad woman, have had one cup of Red Raspberry leaf tea (which is not the greatest tea) and Will and I plan on taking a nice long walk later. If this baby doesn't come tonight, I plan on walking with a couple friends tomorrow morning.

I am so ready for this little dude to come, Lew is ready, my sister is anxiously awaiting a phone call, and my good friend is on stand by for Will.

Come on baby, you can come...NOW! Thanks.

total cuteness !

And Daddy wonders why I can't say no to you. Total cuteness!

The last couple of days you and I have been inseperable, I am so okay with that.

You asked me the other day when my brother comes out can you pick me up and hold me? Broke and melted my heart. So, today I got you out of bed, picked you up and brought you to snuggle in my bed.

You made me a mom, have taught me so much, you are my world. I will love you always, more than air.

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