Pour Your Heart Out . . . our journey towards a baby .

Today, I am linking up with Shell @ Things I Can't Say to let it all out. Thanks, Shell for the link up! If you want to check out some more amazing bloggers, go check her out.

As a lot of you know Lew and I have been trying to have a second child for quite some time now. It definitely has been a long road trying. My journey to mommy hood came easy with Will. I got pregnant within a month of getting off birth control and was actually quite surprised it happened so quickly! But he was a little blessing in disguise and was exactly what we needed at that time. I could not have asked for a better newborn, infant, toddler and now preschooler. He simply is an amazing little guy to us.

We decided to start trying last April 2010. I thought for sure by summer time I would be pregnant and welcoming a new little addition by late winter/early spring. Obviously, that didn't happen. At first I was not discouraged to say the least. I knew if we put too much pressure on ourselves it wouldn't happen. By fall I was beginning to wonder if something was the matter with me. I became moody and just not fun to be around. Lew kept telling me, it will happen when God wants it to happen for us. I believed him to an extent because, Will definitely came when we needed him.

Fast forward to the New Year and a conversation Lew had with his mom, led her to sending me Polish tricks to help get pregnant and a bunch of ovulation tests and pregnancy tests. I took it all in stride because after all, I think my mom probably would have done the same thing if she were alive. So, I started taking the ovulation tests a couple days before I thought I would be ovulating because a faint line is supposed to show up if you are getting close. Well, almost a week and half of taking those stinkin' tests and not a thing was showing up. Talk about disappointment. UGH! I just pretty much said, forget it. I am not taking another stinkin' test tomorrow and I didn't. The day after that, after I had composed myself, I took another one. HOT DOG! I was finally ovulating! Later than I had ever imagined, which is why for months, nothing was happening.

Lew had a really bad cold around this time and I said you better be ready tonight! Poor guy was so tired after a long day at work and to top it off a fever. But he took one for "our" little family and baby making was on. I'll spare you the details but for the next couple of days we were exhausted. I was patiently waiting for the period to come and I even started to have signs that it was. Big failure again! I was so annoyed and just plain tired of dealing with it all, I felt like giving up. That weekend I decided a little sister bonding time was in order and my sister and I had a nice long walk with the kids and then we snacked on some of my mom's famous bean dip with a couple corona's. Just what the doctor ordered for me.

The next day I had to train 2 clients and I just felt like crap. I came home and felt like I was going to pass out. I was dizzy and starving. Which who isn't starving when their period is coming?! Monday came along and I really started to question if i was getting the flu, which I thought Will could have brought home from school on Friday. Late on Monday, I felt like I should get a pregnancy test just to rule it out if I was in fact getting sick. Off to Target I go. I buy the pack with three tests, because who doesn't like re-assurance? Come home and go to the upstairs bathroom and take the test. I leave it on the bath tub and go away from it because I am totally tempted to stare down that sucker. Hoping if I stare long enough, I will see two lines. I come back in and what do I see? A second faint pink line! HOLY MOLY COW is what I said to myself. Then, I called down to Lew to come upstairs to double check my vision. He wasn't as positive as I was and said I should try again in the morning. Inside, I was crying and jumping for joy because I knew it had to be positive.

Lew left early for work the next day and I took the test when I woke up. POSITIVE and a lot MORE positive this time. I took a picture of it and sent it to him. He texted back, are you sure it's a second line. Me, ah yeah, totally sure babe. He was so happy, by the end of the day he had told his sister and his mother. I had called my sister that morning and told her and she was super excited as well. A couple of days later I told my Pape (dad) and he seemed over the moon. I felt totally blessed after my conversation with my Pape, I felt like my mom was there with him too. It was definitely a special moment.

I know that this baby is going to be watched over by my mom and Lew's dad forever. Because again, I feel like this little baby is a blessing, that came at just the right time for us. We are going to welcome you little one in the fall, my favoritest (just made that up) season by far! We all love you more than air little one.

p.s. if you haven't checked out my giveaway...please come check it out. chic mommy bag filled with everything you need on the go for your little one. check it out here.