Boy oh Boy!

Life with my boys can be challenging, times when you can't wait for bed time, and then there are times like this....  My two smiling boys!  And who said boys can't be stylish?!

The month of January cannot be over soon enough!  The beginning tell almost the 24th has been filled with puke, snot, tons of tissues, and loads of disgusting diapers!  But, one thing great this month...My Bubsy turned 4 and and my Squirmy turned 3 months!  They are both reaching so many different milestones and surprising me everyday.

Will has become the social butterfly of his class.  He is very articulate.  Kinda stubborn at times.  Still loving trains.  Has a superb memory!  Tells the funniest stories.  Loves going to school.  Is very independent.  Knows how to work the computer...sometimes a good thing and a bad thing.  He is still my sweet boy and surprises me with loving words all the time.  Can't believe he is four!

My little baby Eli.  This pneumonia really screwed up his sleeping schedule.  He was on a roll.  Napping great.  It might have been in his swing but he was doing amazing.  Falling asleep with me rocking him at night around 8:30 and sleeping tell 5:00.  It was amazing!  But, since he was so sick and up coughing at night, his little body is having a hard time re-adjusting.  I am currently reading, Healthy Baby, Happy Baby.  Which focuses on their sleeping patterns and getting them on a schedule.  I am hoping that by next week, I can get him in his crib and getting him to fall asleep without me rocking.  I do love snuggling with him but, he has to learn eventually.  We feberized Will around 4 months to get him into his crib, and by day 3 he was falling asleep on his own and sleeping through the night.  This book has the same approach but goes a bit more into detail.  Onto milestones for my little guy.  He is almost rolling over.  He loves his daddy, so much!  He knows who Mommy and Daddy are.  Giggles when we fly him in the air.  Loves playing under his little jungle gym and is definitely showing interest in some of his toys.  Hates hats!!  Loves to fall asleep to white noise or   Adele on Pandora.  Growing out of a lot of the 3 month clothing!  I am going to have to go shopping because Will's next set of clothing was spring/summer.  So we might have some issues fitting into things.  I am totally okay with that because the Baby Gap has some seriously cute things on sale right now!

I am hoping to get a new design for the blog.  The jungle theme, kinda got old.  As much as I love the scrapbook look, I am going to change as the blogging world changes.  Simple and unique is what I am looking for.  If you have any ideas, I would love to hear them!

m i a . . .

We have been a bit absent on account of strep, pneumonia for both boys and then mommy went down for the count at the end of it all. But, somehow I managed to pull off Will's 4th birthday party, make cupcakes and a cake!

Here are the cupcakes that I made for his class...thank you pinterest! I am totally hooked!

I am hoping to write Willsy's 4th birthday letter later this week. But, I wanted you to know that we are still here. It's just been a sick January!

Here's to a healthy new start to the year!

Firsts . . .

Your first snow happened on January 9, 2012. Uncle Kev's Birthday. It was kind of a surprise because we were suppost to get rain. As we left the house, I told Will..."Wow, where did this all come from?" He said..."Mom, it came from the clouds." Love him.

It wasn't a "play" snow although your brother did get out his diggers and started plowing snow.

As we walked outside, the snow gently kissed your face and you blinked those big blue eyes. Will spun around catching snowflakes on his tongue. Suddenly this moment froze in my head. I am so lucky to have been apart of this first, to look into your eyes of wonder. Watch your brother spin around in slow motion, soaking up the first snow of the season.

I am blessed to be your mom. Sometimes in the bad moments, I forget that. And I am sorry. I am so lucky that I get to be with you and Will daily. You definitely are the reason for my smiles and I can't wait for all the firsts with my boys.

I love you Eli, more than air. I love you Will, more than air.

Finding me . . .

If you are like me and sometimes hold things in tell your heart is ready to burst, then this is a meme you should participate in. Shell is an amazing blogger and you could totally tell she would be an wonderful friend.

The original post I wrote, was just deleted by my fast and furious typing on our new lap top. I still haven't figured out what button I pushed but all my precious words are gone! Maybe, I should pour my heart out about that.

So, I am going to give the short version of it all and try and not get too wordy.

My mom died of Lung Cancer when I was 21. Before you say, "Did she smoke?" I will tell you, she did. So, perhaps this cancer came on because she was a smoker. Sorry, I get really defensive about it because it's my mom we are talking about. There are plenty of people who have gotten lung cancer, didn't smoke, smoked along time ago, or just gave it up.

Anyway, I became her caregiver at the age of 21. I had moved up to Connecticut from Virginia where I was attending George Mason. But, a bad break up lead me running to the open arms of my mom. I am the baby after all. She nutured me and held me and told me everything would be okay.

A couple months later she was diagnosed and I became her full time caregiver. My older siblings were in VA. My dad traveled pretty much every week for his job. So it was us. I did everything that involves taking care of a cancer patient. Even during her darkest hours of night sweats, wretching over a toliet, I didn't want to be anywhere else. I didn't want anyone else taking care of her. I get my nuturing spirit from her.

After the cancer took over her frail body. Her breathing slowed, and she became weak. We knew something was going to happen but being the Momma Bear that she is, she never let us believe it would take her.

I had a lot of growing up during that time. It was precious time that I am so glad I had. She helped me find a passion for fitness and taking care of others. So, I will never forget that. She helped mold me even after she was gone.

I did attempt to go back to school, finished a couple semesters but I really dove head first into my work as a Personal Trainer and became quite successful. Before the boys, I was managing a gym, teaching tons of classes and had an amazing Personal Training career.

Four years later, I am doing In Home Personal Training, which I do love. But, sometimes I miss going to the gym and being around adults for 8-10 hours at a time. I feel like I have lost my mojo, if you can understand that. Don't get me wrong, I am lucky that I am able to make my own hours and still be here for my boys. I want them to have what I had growing up, which is a mom who loved and cared so much. Who was at school functions, who laid on the couch with you and ate popcorn. Who scratched your arm, just because. I am so very thankful for my clients that I have. Not only are they my clients but I do consider them friends as well. I recently lost two clients. Primarily because they were not using their gym memberships that they were paying for. But, it still hurt. It had me re-evaluating why I was doing what I was doing.

It gave me clarity and re-focus which is good. I now know that I am going to finish my degree in Exercise Science, not only for me, but for my mom who believed in me all those years ago. I am going to take some yoga classes. I am also going to take a cake decorating class.

All, because this is the year of finding me again.