Monday, September 17, 2012

anxiety....

I have always been a bit anxious, but when I had the boys, my anxiety sky rocketed.  With Will I was a bit over bearing.  Being a first time mom, I think that that is expected.  He broke his foot before his second birthday, bonked his head multiple times learning to walk, and the year of ear infections added to it all.  Needless to say, I became a bit over protective and tried to manage my anxiety with medication, which didn't work.

Now, with Mr. Eli, he really makes me anxious.  He was crawling early, and started pulling up on things by the time he was 7 months.  Started walking last month at 9.5 months.  Hello...ANXIETY!  I have to say, I have gotten better about bumps and bruises with him.  A little bit calmer, but the nervousness is still there.

Until this weekend.  My little, sweet, precious, dare devil Eli was walking around like the drunkin' sailor and scared the crap out of me.  I was washing dishes and I hear him padding around behind me, and the next thing I know, he has pulled the over door open on himself!  He is tall, so he reached on the dish towel that was wrapped over the bar and pulled!

At first I thought for sure he knocked his bottom two teeth out, because they just looked pulled forward.  He was crying hysterically and his bottom lip was a bit swollen.  No blood, no bruising.  But, mama was totally freaked out.  He wouldn't let me stick my finger in his mouth to check the teeth, so I decided to take him to the doctor.

At this point, I am so tense, totally freaking out that my baby messed up his teeth.  And then I am blaming myself for not locking the oven door.  When the doctor checked him out, he probably thought I was crazy because he said he looked fine.

It is so strange to me how my anxiety totally took over and I never took a moment to analyze the situation.  My baby was fine.  But, in my mind it felt like the world was crumbling.  This is the first time, I really freaked out with Eli.  I am hoping that the next time something happens, I can walk myself through it a little better.

Because after all, I have two rambunctious boys.  I think I need to start doing Yoga again!

7 comments:

Lindsay said...

Yoga sounds like a good plan! I think we have all done that overreaction rush to the doctor trip!

Natalie said...

I would have been freaking out too! No worries!

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

Yes I think the first tumble scares the bejesus out of you more than any other!

Liz @ A Nut in a Nutshell said...

Bejeezus.

Amanda said...

AHHH I'm anxious just reading this! I'm a nervous nelly too, whether I'm babysitting or with our puppy. I can totally relate to this anxiety and can only imagine what being parent is really like!

Clare said...

i would be freaking out too!! bradley fell off the monkey bars this summer and started to get dizzy and fell down. it scared the HELL out of me! he was fine, but it was so scary, i hear you!

amanda said...

oh poor baby!! (you and mr eli)!! i totally get it though - being a mama is so hard!! the anxiety is crazy!!