Feeling Left Out . . .

When I became a mom I thought for sure it would be easy to make other mom friends, well I have come to the conclusion that it just isn't. I am definitely not the most outgoing person, but I did try and make conversation with other moms when I picked Will up at school. But, it is kind of hard to get to know another mom when you have 5 minutes to talk to them. This year it will be even more unlikely that I will meet other moms, since we will now be in the drop off line.

I thought joning our local pool would be great for Will and myself to meet others and so far it hasn't. Two of his friends go there from school but somehow we never can meet up. I really like one of the mom's but she just told me that her son will be going to a different school in order to work with her schedule. Another bummer.

I see all these moms talking at the pool and wonder how they all know each other. They are all talking and laughing, having a grand old time. Then I see that most of them have older children so they must all go to the same school and probably have known each other for a while. Will has no problem going and playing with other children but sometimes they won't play with them because of their older siblings or they have friends already there.

I feel left out for him. And I feel left out for me.

Sometimes it is lonely being a mom. I wish I had more friends here. But I don't. I grew up in Virginia, my family is there, and friends.

I probably should join a mom's group or something but, juggling training, lew's schedule, and Will. Sometimes it is just not possible. I thought about taking a cake decorating class and hopefully I would be able to meet some new friends.

I am totally having a pity party for myself today. Last night, Lew had to work and I sat on the couch eating chocolate and crying. My Dad was going to go to the beach with us, but now he can't come. I am disappointed about that because he just went with my sister on a last minute vacation in June and we have had this planned and set since April. I feel like she is defnitely his favorite, they are most alike, and he is always over at her house. It just sucks!

It's hard because I know if my mom were here, she would be coming with us on this trip to spend time with me and she would be soaking up Will. She loved her grand babies so much. Again, I feel left out for Will and myself. No parent around and no grandparent. Will has his Nana, but being in Chicago we don't get to see her much. Lew's dad past a year after my mom. Lew and I often feel like the parents that got taken away from us, would be the ones loving on our Will the most. It's just frustrating and disappointing. I told myself, I cannot cry over this anymore because, its on my Dad's conscience and not mine.

Enough of the cry fest, on my part. Will and I are going to make Lew some cookies and surprise him at work. Baking is very therapeutic for me and I need it.