Tuesday, July 12, 2011

For You, I Will Do Anything .

It's July. Which means it's that time of year again. My mom's death anniversary. It gets me every year. Sometimes I wish we could just skip of July and go straight into August. July 2001 was not a good one for our family or my mom. She got news that she had only 6 weeks to live. Her cancer had spread and all they could do was give her pain pills. At the time, we always thought she would fight back but looking at it now, I think of how naive I was to believe it.
I was her primary caretaker and sometimes I wish I didn't have to go through all of that. At age 21 that is a lot to take in. But, today I am glad that I was. She and I had so many special extra moments and time together that no one else did. I wish she would have told me how scared she was, but she was momma bear tell the very end. Never wanting to let anyone see her sadness, her anger of why she was chosen to have cancer. On July 24, she died. It was a hot miserable day filled never ending tears. It was the day I became motherless daughter.
I am writing this because just recently my sister, Misti and I went to visit her grave. We try and go often and had been there on her birthday in May. When you drive up, you cannot miss her headstone because it is unlike any other, a gorgeous black stone with an Angel right in the middle. But this day, something was missing. All of her birthday flowers. We use fake flowers, so they never die and make sure we always pics out the most beautiful for her. As we got closer, we noticed the the dirt around her headstone had been dug up somewhat and there were hole all around her headstone. Immediately, I knew her headstone had been moved.
We also noticed that a funeral had taken place in the month that we had not been there, directly behind her. In fact, it was practically on top of her. I am always upset to see a new grave and feel for the family that has lost. But in this moment, in my mom's death anniversary month, I was furious. She had been moved, her spot had been touched, a place where we come to talk to her, had been touched.
When my Pape bought this spot for her, we were all upset, out of it and completely in denial. I can still picture the day of us picking out her casket. They never mentioned to us that, in the area my mom is in, that it would get as crowded as it has become. The spot we picked for her was under a young tree that we knew would blossom and give her shade. But now there are 3 headstones in front of her. It's heart breaking and devastating that in the business of putting someone to rest that they are still trying to make a buck.
My sister talked to someone and she said it was not their practice to move headstones. She said someone would contact us in a couple of months! Months! Misti was obviously furious and said that would not be the case and that she would be calling and emailing the manager during normal business hours. We took pictures of the area and the obvious shift in her headstone and have sense emailed them to the cemetery. My other sister spoke with someone after many repeated calls and she said that it had been moved to get their heavy equipment in there. Two things tick me off, the first lady lied to us, and secondly, why are you piling all these graves in here if you are having to mess with OUR property! This is not some shady cemetery, in fact, it is very reputable and I know it was quite expensive to put my mom where she is. So, why was she treated this way?! We haven't heard much back from them, even though we are still pursuing this with them. I have contacted a local news station that does a lot of investigative stories in hopes that they might out these people. I know it is a long shot but I feel like I have to do something for my mom. She doesn't deserve this at all and during this month.
I love and miss her everyday and wish she were here, but she's not. She is in a better place that I know. And deserves to have her area.


Lindsay said...

I'm sorry this month is so tough! ughh what a mess you are having to deal with!

KLZ said...

Bad customer service is always awful but for this - how shameful for them. Hope you get some resolution soon.

Shell said...

Sending you lots of prayers this month.

How awful of them to move her. I hope you get answers.

Anita said...

Oh my goodness, this post broke my heart. You do what you need to! Take care of Momma, how can they do that? I would be furious! Hang in there and you will make it, you mom would want you to!

Liz said...

I'm so, so sorry! I'm sure it rocked you to the core to see the displacement, but good for you for fighting back and contacting the news channel!