The last couple of nights I have been not sleeping well, to be expected. But, I have been doing my most deepest thinking in those moments. I know, how philosophical of me.
I have been thinking about being a mom of two. Surprisingly, I have been feeling very confident in my mom abilities during these deep, middle of the night moments. I was so nervous with Will at this stage of pregnancy. But, now I am not. I feel like I am going to be able to do it, and even manage it.
I have this feeling that I am going to be able to handle breast feeding this go around because I know what it takes to be a mom. I hate that I feel like Will is the trial run but honestly, isn't our first born a guessing game? I am anxious for this one to be here, so I can do things right. Does that sound totally horrible? Will has turned out amazing, I couldn't ask for a better little guy. But, now that I know what it takes, thanks to my Will, this time around it will be a lot easier for me.
I won't be stressed like I was with Will. I know the baby ins and outs. I know that his winky has to be pushed down or else you are going to have wet clothes to change with each diaper. Yes, we actually did not know to do this. I still laugh at it.
I think because I know what I know now, that I will be a great mom to this new little guy. I will also be an even better mom to Will because it will be second nature to me.
I feel like my boys and I will have a special bond that can never be broken, even when they do grow up and marry.
I know that I will love this little guy as much as I love Will. There is enough love to go around.