Saturday, July 10, 2010

absent . . .

You might have noticed that I have not been around much.

Maybe because it is summer.

Maybe because my two year old has been keeping me busy. (definitely not this one!)

July is a hard month for me.

July 1 hits and I become a zombie in my own body.

July 24th, 2001 my mom passed away.

I talk about her a lot on here because she was not only my mom but also my best friend.

July is a hard month for me.

I can always feel the sadness and sorrow kick in.

Don't get me wrong. There are some happy times in July.

But usually my heart and my mind are telling me she is not here.

So I have been absent from visiting blogs and writing on my own blog.

When you lose someone who is your world, your glue, you just feel empty. There really is no other way to explain it.

I cry at everything.

Last night I cried in the shower just because.

I cry because I miss her.

15 comments:

Natalie said...

Hugs my friend. I'm so sorry that this is such a hard time of the year for you. I understand what you are going through. I'm here if you need me :)

Sherri said...

So, so sorry to hear that. I am a pretty new follower, so I haven't read many of your much older posts. Losing someone you love is the worst thing, and nothing takes that empty feeling away.

It sounds like you just had an awesome relationship with your mom, and that's something to treasure! She obviously left an impact on you, because you seem to be quite a great mom yourself...

alicia said...

Sorry girl. Hang in there. And there's nothing wrong with crying when ya need it.

Funky Mama Bird said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! Do whatever you need to for yourself to get through.

lulalola.com said...

My mom died in 1983. My dad passed away in 2002, and missed her his whole life.
I still miss her so much. Sometimes are harder than others. I still miss her so much that sometimes I can feel it physically. Sorry you're sad. I totally understand. If they weren't wonderful people, it wouldn't leave such a gap.
Know she wouldn't want you to be though.
I hope the sun comes out soon for you! :)

Lynn said...

So sorry to hear that. My mother is 76, her mother died when she was 9 (in 1943) and she still hates Thanksgiving because that's when her mother died. Not to depress you that this will be happening for the rest of your life, but there just is nothing like your relationship with your mother.

KLZ said...

I'm sorry love. That's just so hard but completely understandable. I still get pangs of missing my grandmother and I only saw her once or twice a year...We're here whenever you need us.

All the time.

Patrice said...

I am so sorry to hear that. Hugs to you. I can't imagine the pain you are feeling.

liz said...

Oh, Jenny! I'm so, so sorry you still ache! I know there's nothing I can say to make you feel better. Hang in there.

Chelle said...

Oh, Jenny, my heart aches for you. I cannot imagine how you are feeling, but want to offer you hugs and peaceful thoughts.

Come back when you're ready, sweetie. And know you are welcome to call me anytime--even if you just need to cry, I'll listen.

Brandi said...

Sorry, girl. :( I hope you get extra butterfly visits this month.

Lindsay said...

aww girl we totally understand you being absent. Your heart needs some time to be reflective and losing your best friend and mom at the same time must have been the hardest thing ever!

amanda said...

thinking of you...

Christy said...

So so sorry friend.

MommaKiss said...

Oh love. I can't imagine the pain. My mother and I are too many miles apart, but I'm so not ready for the day she leaves me. I'm sorry that the month is hard for you.