Wednesday, December 29, 2010

He Was So Excited . . .

The pictures are totally out of order...let's just go with it though.

Santa left Will mini little trains...

Thomas Shake Shake Bridge, Lightening McQueen Big Boy Bike and Helmet!

Lovin' his new bike!

Thomas Match game left in his stocking...

Will's Santa Loot...and special James, the Christmas train

All my holiday presents! Willsey... you are too cute!

Santa just came!

We had a great Christmas and believe it or not but I took our tree down yesterday. It has been up since Thanksgiving! I just needed to make room for all the new toys and start organizing all the old ones.
I ended up having to take out our little ikea tree because Will was not ready for the tree to be taken down. I think this tree might be up tell next Christmas! I guess I can decorate it for each holiday!

Wednesday, December 22, 2010

Sleepy Bubsy . . .

Looks like the holidays are tuckering him out also! He asked for his blankets and then fell asleep watching Dino Dan. He can name most of the dinosaurs which is pretty impressive, so thanks Dino Dan for teaching my little bubsy about dinos and putting him to sleep! haha.

Monday, December 20, 2010

She is . . . I'm not.

Not to be a debbie downer on this last Monday before Christmas but I am going to be one for a little bit.

Just talked to my sister in law yesterday and she is pregnant. For the 6th time. Did I mention that she had her tubes tied after her 5th child? Yep.

Don't get me wrong, totally happy for her, who wouldn't be. Obviously, God wanted her to be a mom of one more child.

But it just makes me wonder, why not us? Don't we deserve another gift from God?

The sad thing to me with this news is that, Lew actually seemed a bit sad. Like, why does she need another kid, when all we want is just one more? He doesn't think she should be having another child but evidently God has other plans for her. She is blessed.

I thought this would be the month for some reason. But over the weekend I could feel all the signs of my period coming on. We all know them. It hasn't come yet but it is supposed to arrive on Christmas. Great. Not the particular gift that I was looking for. I try to think back when I got pregnant with Will but I really can't remember having any pregnancy signs. Maybe I was too busy working 10 hour days to notice.

Thanks for hearing me out. Glad my sister in law doesn't read this because I would feel really bad.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

just an inch . . .

but he had tons of fun!

Tuesday, December 14, 2010

thanks and inspiration . . .

First off, I just wanted to say thanks to so many of you that left really kind and heart felt comments on my last post. I definitely took it all in and am trying to stay positive, as my Pape would say, "Keep your eye on the prize." I know everything will happen in do time and I have to really sink that in to my heart that is so desperately wanting another little one.

One of my great bloggy friend's inspired me to really dive right into the Christmas spirit and just stay strong. She also inspired me to share some Christmas ornaments that mean so much to my family. Thanks Lindsay!

This is the newest to the collection, not a great pic sorry! But can you guess who it belongs to?

Whenever we go some where we always try and pick up something from that location. When we were in Door County, Wisconsin this summer we went to a little shop that makes hand made eggs. It was so cool and unique that I wanted everything in that shop! But this ornament stuck out because it is all the little towns in Door County. I wish we lived closer because we would definitely make this our summer retreat, it was such an amazing vacation!

Do you know what it is? It's a cabbage patch! I think my mom got this for me when I was about 5 0r 6 and it has always been the ornament I treasure the most. Every Christmas when we would decorate the tree, that was always the first one I would put on. She is the gem of my Christmas tree for sure!

Our retro Christmas ball is from Lew's grandfather who had it on his tree in the 40's! I just love the character it adds to the tree and all the memories it has seen and created.
So do you have any special ornaments that you have kept over the years?

Friday, December 10, 2010

the truth . .

It's time to be honest.

Honest to you. But mostly honest to myself.

I am disappointed.

I am disappointed that a 2nd baby is not coming as easy as I thought it would.

I see friends getting pregnant, bloggy friends getting pregnant, and I feel sad. High school FB friends talking about being pregnant. Sometimes I just want to say, ENOUGH! Don't get me wrong, I am happy for all of them, very happy.

But what about us?

Why is it not happening?

It has been 7 months. One of my good friend's told me not to worry it took her a couple months to conceive her daughter but I am still sad. Disappointed...did I mention that already?

I put on a happy face each month when my period comes but, inside I wish there were a little one growing.

Today when I dropped Will off at school I got back in my car and started crying. Everyone in his class has a sibling and here we are still trying to get pregnant. Sometimes it just doesn't seem fair.

I haven't even told my sisters that we have been trying this long because, I just don't want to hear it.

I just hope and pray that maybe this Christmas God will bless us.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Christmas 2008 . .Kicking it Old Skool !

This morning I felt like reminiscing holidays past. I do that often. I am weird like that. But I happen to stumble along pictures of a Christmas party that we went to in 2008 when my sweet little bubsy was just 11 months old! Eek!

Where has the time gone?

Willsey was not too happy and once he saw the man in red he quickly closed his eyes and was reaching out to Lew and myself. Our little bubsy was not a fan at all.

Last year we went to the mall and saw Santa with cousin Lilly and unfortunately he had the same reaction while Lilly was all smiles, telling Santa what she wanted for Christmas.

This year I decided we were not going to go because every picture Willsey has seen of Santa, he has quickly hid behind me and started saying, "i love you mommy" over and over. The poor guy thinks I am going to leave him with Santa.

I am actually kind of okay with it because I tend to have a little OCD around this time of year and all those kids sitting on Santa, who knows what germs are being spread around.

He won't even let me put these reindeer ears on now, they are so cute though!

One of my favorite pictures! I just loves these guys so much! It must be those blue eyes.

Happy Sunday friends...

Thursday, December 2, 2010

grateful . . .

Holidays always make me so grateful for what I have even if I don't have want I really want. Like special family members that were taken from us too soon.

I think when experiences like this happen to you, you just become more grateful for every little thing.

Like kisses from you little bubsy mommy's boy, which I am more than okay with.

Making gingerbread houses on Thanksgiving, with all the special men in your life, Lew, Willsey and my Pape. Couldn't be better.

And my little Willsey snuggling on the back of the couch with his blankets just because he can.

Also, having ordered holiday cards ahead of the game. Almost done shopping for my family and friends with a few other gifts to purchase. The last 9 years have been up and down, mostly because the loss of my mom, she was the glue, the heart and the soul of our family without her Christmas has been feeling just like another day.
But this year I am feeling a bit more grateful and less sad, more than I have in the last 9, and I think it has something to do with the sweet boys in my life.
Today I am grateful.