Just a few phone pics...

The boys with Ella Bella on one of her last days.  She was their second mommy for sure.  She always looked after them and protected them as if they were her's.  And in a sense, they were.

Willsy and Eli soaking up some this unusual warm winter weather.  70 one day!

My obsession with the monitor has begun.  Like so obsessed!  This was day one of sleep training and I had to take a picture and send it to Lew.  Showing him our baby was sleeping in his own bed!

Gotta go.  I hear a baby upstairs!  Happy Tuesday.

I Can't Believe You are 4!

My Dearest Willsy Bubsy,

I have been meaning to write you your 4th Birthday letter for a while now.  Now, I finally have some time to tell you how you have completed our world.  Words will never be able to do it justice because you are that special to us.  But, here I go.

You were stubborn when coming into this world, wanting to stay in mommy.  I can't blame you, the world can be scary and cold at times.  And I have to say, you have still kept that stubborn quality.  Sometimes it is so cute and other times you can drive me a bit bonkers.  I call you Turtle these days because you seem to take your time getting things done and when it is time to go some where, you are just like your daddy.  Slow to get moving.  But, that's why I love you boys.

You always make me smile, and it usually happens right when I need it most.  It is quite infectious too.  You have the most beautiful smile, bright, husky blue eyes and eyelashes that anyone would love to have.  I think you will melt some hearts with those blues one day!

You are super smart.  You have a memory like no other.  It makes me think when you are my age that you will remember being 4 and even 3.  You love to act out scenes from movies or shows that you have watched.  You can do it word for word.  It amazes your daddy and I.

Your vocabulary is constantly expanding and you have become so articulate as well.  You say big words and put them in the right spot in sentences.  Sometimes I think you don't know what they mean but then you tell me and I am totally shocked.

You say the Pledge of Allegiance and they you sing a flag song.  It just amazes me the things that you know and say.  You say it like you mean it and as if you have known it forever.  Makes me so proud and Daddy just beams.

You love school and hate to come home when you are there.  You often get in the car and tell me you didn't want to come home.  That you wanted to stay with your friends.  You always tell me about your day and it is quite funny because I don't know if the stories you tell me are true.  They do sound it though!

You are 95% for your height.  About 65% for your weight.  You are a bit of a bean pole and definitely have sprouted up in the last couple of months!  This time last year, you were in the process of being potty trained and I was still able to pick you up comfortably.  Now you are so long and it is sometimes hard for mommy to pick you up, even though I love to!  

You are a snuggler and love your back scratched when you are getting tired.  When you sleep you often sleep like an infant.  On your tummy with your knees tucked underneath you in a ball.  Don't ask me how you do it.  It makes me a bit sad to see how fast you have grown!

You are taking swimming again.  I gave you a choice.  Soccer or swimming and you chose to swim.  I have to say it makes me a bit happy, seeing how that was my sport.  Plus, you would make an excellent back stroker with your long limbs.

Sometimes I wish I could press rewind to hold onto those special moments with you at each age.  You have grown into such an amazing little boy and I am glad that you are mine.

I love you Willsy, more than air.

Pour Your Heart Out . . . Sleep Training

It's now 10:16 am and you have been crying for 16 minutes.  I want to go upstairs and get you, rock you so you can fall asleep.  But, my sweet Eli you have become very dependent on me to fall asleep.  Like, you want to be rocked for each nap and bedtime.  I don't mind it, in fact I love it.  Because you are my last baby.  But, you have to learn to fall asleep on your own my love bug.

I have to be strong.  I am staring at the baby monitor and seeing your arms move and your legs kick.  You are fighting it so much and it makes my heart hurt.  You can do it though.  Willsy did it and he became such an amazing little napper and night sleeper.

Silence.  I see your head moving.  I can't tell if you are sleeping or not.  And I do not dare go close to the door for fear that you will hear me, sense me, or see me.  I will wait.  With an aching heart.

Just know that I love you Eli and I am only doing this so you will always be the happy and smiling baby that you are.

I know every mom has gone through some sort of sleep issues with their little ones.  What did you do?  Did you do sleep training?  Did you nurse them to sleep and just stick with that?  I have read so many books on this and sometimes I just feel defeated.  Hoping my little guy catches on as quick as Will did.

I am joining Shell, for Pour Your Heart Out.  This is the time to just let it out.  Take a deep breath and type it out.  You will feel better.  I promise.  I kinda do.

My Babies!

Eli looking so....cute in his golfer's hat!

Maybe next year...

Getting some fresh air in this mild winter we have been having!

Will sporting his new haircut, not by choice.  We are growing it out again.  Also, wearing his new Car robe from his auntie!

Valentine's Day...such cuties!

Will, very unhappy at his 4 year check up that consisted of 4 shots!  UGH...

Love....matching pj's from the Gap!  They have the best stuff for boys.

Will starting swim class this past week.  He loves it!  My little fish.

This pic is so funny.  Will really didn't want his picture taken and Eli is looking kind of unhappy.

I am going to try and get better about taking more photos and posting more than once a week.  Life with my boys is full to the max but I love it.  

Happy Monday friends.

Bits and Pieces . . .

Eli...

• You are changing daily.
• From 1 month to 2 months you were an amazing sleeper.
• Now, not so much.  Although, you do sleep through the night according to what sleeping through the night is for babies.  A 5 hour stretch.  Now if only I could get myself to stop reading and go to sleep at 8:00 when you do.  Then I would not feel sleep deprived.
• Last night you slept in your crib for the first time.  8:00-1:45.  You usually go from 8 tell about 3.  I have to remember the small achievements we make.  Like, holy cow, you slept in your crib!  You take naps in your swing which I know I need to break you of but, that is when you get the best sleep during the day.
• You rolled over from back to tummy on February 4th and totally made me cry!
• You have the best personality.  A little laid back and very happy.  Kind of like your ultrasound picture.
• You can grab on to toys but get frustrated when you can't let it go.
• You love white noise and have taken to Coldplay, it makes mommy tired too!
• You know who your mommy is.  Which I love.  If I am holding you and I put you down you will cry to be held again.  Not always the best for me to pick you back up, but I can't resist you.

Will...

• My biggest boy.  You are total sweetness and always make me smile lately.
• You are quite the talker and have lots of questions lately.
• You are so close to writing your own name.  This has been hard for us because Will is not really into drawing or doing crafts.  Getting him to sit down and practice learning things can sometimes be a challenge but I am so happy that he is turning the corner.
• You use a lot of big words and surprise me and daddy all the time.  
• You are so good at doing puzzles and putting Lego's together.  You have an engineering mind like your grandpa.
• You love school and when I pick you up, you always say you wanted to stay longer.  I hope you feel that way in a couple of years!
• You miss your Ella Bella and I am sorry that you don't quite understand where she is.  You keep asking if she can come back but when I tell you she is with your grandparents you get a bit upset.  It brings me to tears to hear you cry about missing her.  She was such a special part of our lives.  I know one day we will have another puppy and she will hold a place in our hearts as well.
• My biggest, you mean the world to me and taught me how to be a mommy.  Thanks for always loving me no matter what, you have a special place in my heart.

I love you both, always more than air.

Ella Bella . . .

My Dear Ella Bella,

We miss you so much already and you have only been gone a day.  Bone cancer took you away from us and its just no fair.  Cancer is awful what it does to people but it is equally bad what it does to your fur baby.

Ella was born in Texas on February 24, 2004.  Daddy got you when he was TDY in for the Air Force.  I remember when he called me and said, "I just saw a sign for AKC Rottweilers, should I go check them out?"  I  told him definitely and later that day I opened up an email with a picture of you.  The cutest of all, the "runt" of your litter and the only girl left.  Daddy wasn't aloud to take you into the hotel he was at but because he was in the military, they let him.  You slept with him in his bed and you went with Daddy on his top secret missions.  You were such a lucky girl from the beginning tell the very end.

You were the easiest puppy to train and loved playing outside, as well as just relaxing in the sunshine.

You saw us through many trials and tribulations.  Although, those were always out weighed by the amazing times spent snuggling and loving on you.

When I got pregnant with Will, you became a little protector.  You slept on my side of the bed for most of my pregnancy even though it was a tight fit.  You snuggled up in the corner.  You would go from Daddy to me and get your nightly "rubbings" and then you would be completely content.

You took to Will with such care and loved him from the start.  You peered in his bassinet and often lay next to where he was.  When he began to crawl you were there with him.  Often resting your head on his back when he was taking a break.  You two were instantly best friends.  Everyone told us we should watch out with you being a rottie.  But, you a "momma bear" from the beginning.  Always protecting your family from day one tell the end.

When I got pregnant with Eli, again you slept on my side of the bed.  Resting your sweet face next to my pillow for a pet.  How could anyone resist your face?  You were and are the sweetest dog we have ever met.  You seemed to be more protective this time around, I think you felt your job was to constantly protect us.  Such an amazing quality that we loved in our baby girl.  When Eli came home and I sat on the couch, you were right at my feet checking him out.  I am so glad that you were able to meet your baby brother.

Little did we know that the cancer was attacking your sweetness.

I am so happy that we got to spend one more Christmas with you and that you were able to see Will really enjoy it this year.  You got a big bone that you devoured in typical Ella fashion.

The cancer took you quickly, as much as we tried to hold on, we knew it wouldn't be long.  We were in denial that you would ever have to leave us.

I decided to move your birthday up from February 24 to February 10.  I made you a doggie cake of   peanut butter and carrots.  It actually was quite good and you had two huge slices on the 10th and I gave you a slice right before we had to go to the vet.

Daddy had to say his goodbyes to you at the house because it was just too much.  Will gave you a big hug but really didn't understand.  The two momma bears were off on our last car ride.  I am so glad that I got to be the one to be with you in those final moments.  

No more pain is what I told you.  And thank you for always watching over me and being my protector.  I was lucky enough to get kisses from you right before you went to sleep.  I'm sure my mom and Lew's dad were waiting for you.  Thanking you for completing their families because you did.

Love and miss you more than air Ella.  You were the bestest.