Been Missing . . .

I hate to admit it but it was kind of nice not blogging for a week.

Believe me. I love reading every one's blogs and even finding new blogs to read.

But this week I spent tons of time with Will at the park, taking walks and of course digging in the dirt. Because that's what moms of boys do.

I also have been reading lots of books during Will's nap times so, blog reading was pushed to the sideline.

Last Saturday Will and I spent the day with my sister and her family, which was really nice. We visited my mom's grave and put out some gorgeous flowers for her.

Then we decided to go down memory lane and went to the house we grew up in. The house looks so small! It was actually for sale and insanely over priced, but it was definitely cool to see it.

We then had a Mexican fiesta and some coronas to top off the day. It was nice to get the day over with but to also celebrate my mom's life.

This past Tuesday seemed to be the hardest for me only because that would have been the day we buried my mom.

People say it gets easier with time. Well. It doesn't. It is never easy. Every time I see a woman my age with her mom, I tear up. Every time I see a grandma with her grand babies, I tear up.

So people. It does not get easier with time. It just doesn't.

Yep. He licked the spoon and maybe had a couple of more spoonfuls. Because I am that kind of mom and so was my mom.

For You Mom . . .

When I laid there beside you, could you feel me there?
My arms were wrapped around you, and I was stroking your hair.

I was talking about all the good times, for me they were every single day.
I wanted you to feel love and comfort, and happy in some way.

I watched your every breath, and prayed that each one wasn't your last.
The time we got to share together, went by too quick...too fast.

I wanted you to wake up, please Mom...open your eyes.
Tell me this is a nightmare, and not our goodbyes.

As your last breath grew closer, we lay there peacefully together.
My heart continually breaking, because I wanted you forever.

Then there it was, your final breath of air.
I didn't want to believe it, this is so cruel and not fair.

I held your beautiful face, and prayed you'd breathe again.
I wasn't ready for you to go, I couldn't admit that this was the end.

But then I realized that you were now in peace, and not suffering anymore.
You were beginning the life of an Angel, and your body would no longer be sore.

I held you close and squeezed you tight, and tried to say goodbye.
I've lost my Mom and my best friend, and all I could do was cry.

I slowly got up, I wanted so much to stay.
I leaned over and gave you one more kiss, it was so hard to walk away.

Mom you are my entire world, and I miss you so very much.
I wish I could feel your lovable cuddle, and your soft and gentle touch.

But for now I have to wait, until we meet again. You will always be in my heart and thoughts, my dear Mom and best friend.


Always and Forever, our hearts will always touch.
Always and Forever, your baby girl loves you so much.

i love to ramble .

I love having random days and today feels just as good as ever to do that. Here it goes....

• it has been hot as you know what here. we have not been outside much, a little in the morning and some days we fill up the pool.
• i never told you that bubsy's visit to the ped. ended up in him still having a sinus infection and an ear infection. it seems he is prone to a lot of antibiotics.
• friday we are going to go back for an ear check because he has been off his antibiotics for a week now but lately he has been messing with that same ear that was infected. not a happy camper here, either of us.
• potty training started and stopped. i got a horrific cold and just stopped. i have a feeling this is going to be a lot harder than i thought. bubsy went on the potty once but he was totally holding it and i just felt horrible about that.
• lew is working a lot this week, which totally sucks.
• we are going to go to Illinois in a couple of weeks and i cannot wait to have a little vacation
• i have been reading so much this summer. read a lot of random books but i have also read all the sophie kinsella books, which are easy, fun reads.
• bubsy has become quite the jokester. he makes funny faces, jokes around, and lately he when he says thank you, he repeats it a couple of times, like tank u tank u tank u mama...he sounds like an italian! so cute.
• totally addicted to big brother and i am so excited that teen mom is coming back on tonight...yes. i watch teen mom. i hated the way the hills ended...but oh well.
• okay. i am done. time to go and train.

rocking you . . .

the other night i came in from a long evening of training clients.

daddy said that you were waiting up for me in your room.

when i came up to your room you were crying. stupid me. i hit the panic button on the car, which scares the living day lights out of you. sorry bubsy.

in between your tears and sobs, you said, "scare me, mama."

i am sorry, very sorry baby.

you wanted me to stay in your room, so i obliged. i was starving and wanted dinner but, i stayed.

because you asked me to rock. "pease mama, rock in chair?"

i started rocking and you climbed onto my lap and snuggled oh so close.

i loved it.

you are so extremely tall but you still managed to rest your head on my heart and stick your but out, which always gets me.

you win me over every time.

we rocked and your eyes got heavy. i can't remember the last time i rocked you and you fell asleep. which is why i am writing this now.

i carried you to your bed and tucked you in. snug as a bug, we say.

you drifted off to sleep so easily that night. on your belly. knees tucked under you and alfred, your lovey tucked under your arm.

i think that night you and i had very sweet dreams.

i never thought i could love someone so much. not to sound cheesy but you really are my sunshine baby boy.

i love you always more than air.

Bubsy's Food Groups . . .

I was recently inspired by Mommyologist's recent post about being a NOT Mom of the Year. In it she did a video about her son's favorite foods and it is quite funny. So go and check it out!

So I decided to take a picture of my Bubsy's favorite and sometimes only food that he eats on a daily basis.

Bananas and blueberries have to be this kid's favorite fruit, although apples do come in a close second. At picture time we had gone through all our apples.

Pasta..specifically angel hair pasta. I usually buy the whole wheat pasta and can disguise the taste with some parmesan cheese.

Wheat Thins are a new obsession of his. He loves them with cheese which of course I do not have any right now because Bubsy ate the last of it. He eats them with PB. Yesterday I caught him sitting on the couch with the whole box! He just helped himself to the pantry!

Peanut Butter. He loves it on apples of course. PBJ sandwiches on whole wheat. He has even been known to grab a spoon out of the drawer and eat the leftover PB from his apples.

Popcorn. It doesn't matter if it is completely plain. This little bubsy will eat it! He is totally obsessed with popcorn. If I let him eat it at every meal, he probably would!

Sometimes I get a bit discouraged that he eats a lot of the same things over and over. But then there are times when he surprises me and will try something new and I feel like I haven't totally let him down nutritionally.

Now it's your turn. I would love to hear what you consider your children's food groups are.

absent . . .

You might have noticed that I have not been around much.

Maybe because it is summer.

Maybe because my two year old has been keeping me busy. (definitely not this one!)

July is a hard month for me.

July 1 hits and I become a zombie in my own body.

July 24th, 2001 my mom passed away.

I talk about her a lot on here because she was not only my mom but also my best friend.

July is a hard month for me.

I can always feel the sadness and sorrow kick in.

Don't get me wrong. There are some happy times in July.

But usually my heart and my mind are telling me she is not here.

So I have been absent from visiting blogs and writing on my own blog.

When you lose someone who is your world, your glue, you just feel empty. There really is no other way to explain it.

I cry at everything.

Last night I cried in the shower just because.

I cry because I miss her.

Wordless Wednesday....Willy Style

For more Wordless Wednesday check out these amazing blogs...

A Beautiful Mess

Live and Love...Out Loud

What a week . . .

We have had quite the week off with Daddy. It was so nice to have Lew home! He usually works 12-13 hour days so seeing him on a regular basis was nice.

We miss him already and he has only been gone for an hour! But luckily he is taking another vacation at the beginning of August for our trip to Chicago. Which will be my vacation since I continued to train while he was off this past week.

This post is not going to be about much since I am still trying to recover from not blogging for almost a whole week. I am still getting pictures organized so it might be a while before I post any.

But we did lots of fun things.

Like....Going to Aunt Mimi's and Uncle "Heaven's"(Kevin's) neighborhood pool and then having a cookout.

Going on a Target run with Aunt Mimi and Lilly....

Going to the beach and soaking up the ocean...

Crabbing at a friend's pier...

Baltimore Zoo...totally amazing! I was in shock about this place!

Going to the Park and meeting new friends...

Seeing the new Thomas movie in the theater...

Getting a new "big boy" car seat...

I am afraid to say that I did not take tons of pics as I had promised but we do have some great beach shots and zoo pictures.

On tap for today. Back to the Pediatrician.

Remember that annoying cough I told you will had a couple of weeks ago and they said it was a sinus infection? Well, that little bugger is still here and Lew and I are starting to get concerned so back we will go. Wish me luck.

Oh. The winner of the Boogie Wipes giveaway is #3, Lindsay from Bytes of Memory! I have sent you an email Lindsay...CONGRATS!