Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Pour Your Heart Out - Cancer Makes You Cry

I ran fast that day.

Tears streaming down my face, arms pumping as fast as they could at my side, hair blowing furiously in the beach wind. Did this just happen?

I made it to the end of the beach on March 26 and looked out into the Atlantic for a miracle.

I cradled my knees with my arms tightly because I needed a hug. I needed this not to be true.

Never had I cried like this before. The tears were just flowing like a water faucet, with no end in sight. I cried for my mom, I cried for everything she was about to go through, and I cried because when you hear cancer, you can only think of death.

I was not ready to lose my mom. She was MY rock, she was my best friend, but most importantly she was an amazing mom that I still needed.

As the tears continued to flow, I decided right then and there that there would be no more crying, unless it was here in this very spot on the beach.

My mom was going to need me more than ever. Unsure of what my siblings and father would do to help, I knew my mom was going to need ME to be her rock.

As I walked back to our house, and entered the door, I saw both my mom and dad staring at me.

With huge, puffy red eyes I said, ''It's going to be okay mom, I will take care of you, I promise."



11 comments:

Angie said...

My mom and I are so close too - talk at least once a day - I can't imagine. ((hugs))

Lindsay said...

I love the promise you made to her and I know she does too! (((HUGS)))

Shell said...

Oh honey, how heartbreaking. Sending you prayers.

KLZ said...

That is the sign of a wonderful, strong daughter.

The No Wonder Mom said...

The biggest thing we can do in life is be present and love those around us. I was one of my mom's primary care givers and I know it meant a lot to her--but not as much as it meant to me. ((Hugs))

Clare said...

beautiful!! i have been there with my dad, so difficult.

Krystyn said...

Awww...I can't even imagine. I just love how you promised to take care of her.

Liz said...

Oh, Jenny! I'm so sorry! But I applaud you for stepping be and taking charge to take care of her.

Mrs Montoya said...

Being there is the best gift you can give. I admire you for your strength and grit. Your Mom is lucky to have you

Kim said...

Terrible news to hear indeed! I've heard so many people who went through the same thing say they were grateful that they could be there.

Mothers' Hideaway said...

I felt the same way when I found out my dad had cancer. I was the one that slept in the hospital the nights after he had his kidney removed. I was the one that held his hand when the pain was too much for him to handle. Hearing the words cancer and seeing your parent suffer is such a hard hard thing to go through. **hug**