Attack of the Bubsy Monster . . . and an interesting read .

The monster in Will came out this weekend. In full force. Here are a couple of reasons that made it one long weekend.

1. Will refused to take naps. All. Weekend. Long.
2. He refused to eat what was in front of him at meal times.
3. When it was time to come in from being outside, full on tantrum. Kicking, screaming with sand flying everywhere!
4. When he had a tantrum from lack of sleep, he would throw toys, pretty much whatever was in sight.
5. When going out and about to run errands, he would arch his back when trying to put him in his car seat. Can we say, annoying and frustrating!
6. Bedtime has become a chore. He will kick his head board on his crib until he finally falls asleep.

I really hope this is just the two year molars playing tricks with my sweet bubsy because I seriously thought today I was going to pull my hair out.

On a brighter note he was a perfect angel at the library yesterday morning when he got to pick out a Thomas book. Thank you Thomas!

I happen to pick up several of the books that I have been waiting to come in and was so happy to have some new reading material. Chelle @ The Winey Mommy actually suggested this book and I was not disappointed. She totally knows how to pick a good one!

The book is called Candy Girl by Diablo Cody. If you do not know who she is, she actually wrote the screen play for Juno. It is about a young woman who just moved to Minnesota and decides walking home from her 9-5 job that she wants to become a stripper! I was automatically intrigued. Don't ask me why. Chelle did say there were some graphic parts and she was right. Some parts actually grossed me out but I could not put the book down! If you want a quick read, I definitely recommend this book! So good!

Thanks Chelle!

I am so jealous !

My sister Mimi, her family and my Pape have just landed in the Bahamas and I am so JEALOUS! They have a time share there and will be spending a week enjoying all of the Atlantis amenities. Sucks for me! But good for them.

The picture above was actually when Lew and I went with my sister in 2007. We were trying to act very posh in the new Cove section of the Atlantis.

I was actually about a month pregnant with Will at the time and was unable to do some of the cool water slides that the boys got to do. But maybe one day soon we will go back.

Is it me or do I look like a major lobster? No wonder I was wearing that dress.

Mimi. If you read this. I hope you guys are having a blast!

Hi. My name is Will and I . .

have been binky free for a WHOLE WEEK!

Terrible & Terrific Twos . . .

My sweet, dear, loving, affectionate Willsey Bubsy. What happened? Lately you are having your moments. When I mean moments, I mean major catastrophic meltdowns.

You have always been the best baby and toddler. You always slept wonderfully, always listened, and overall just such a joy to be around.

Now I find myself counting the minutes until your daddy gets home. I hate that I am doing that. I also can't wait to get out and train my clients. You used to come with me for some but mommy needs a break.

I blame it on those darn two year molars. Ever since we started to see them coming in you have being mr. moody patooty. Sometimes you are mean and hit mommy when you get frustrated. Then you have to sit on the stairs for time out and kick and scream. But when it is all said and done you come over to me and kiss me and say, "wuv you mama." Which of course erases all the bad of that day.

Then there are some terrific moments too. You love to help mommy with the laundry. Your favorite part is to pour the soap in. You also like to help unload the dishwasher, which I totally love because that is the worst part! When I ask you to do something, you usually do. You have gotten good about putting toys away and helping mommy organize your books as well.

So baby, there are some good moments. But I cannot wait for these teeth to come in so I can have my sweetness back 24/7.

I guess I would be a little frustrated to if I had 4 two year molars coming in at one time too. So I will cut you some slack if you promise not to pull my hair, smack me, ignore me, and you must give me tons of kisses and hugs.

Pour Your Heart Out . . .I Needed Help .

It's time to pour your heart out with Shell @ Things I Can't Say. If you have something you need to get off your chest, I recommend it!

Growing up I was an extremely athletic child.

I was on my swim team during the summers and started running track as soon as I hit junior high. I was the stick of my family because of this. I would eat like a horse and never have to think anything of it.

This continued as I went to college and was an avid runner throughout.

But once my mom passed away, I didn't have the drive to do anything. I had actually taken off of school for a little bit to take care of my mom when she was sick. My whole life was focused on her and helping her get better.

Once that didn't happen, I just morphed into a girl I did not know. Someone who did not treat her body with the respect that it deserved.

I was bulimic.

I would eat everything in sight and then go and throw it up. I remember one time specifically. My dad had gone to bed and he had just bought a store made chocolate cake. I ate a couple of slices of this cake and then I proceeded to eat all the frosting off of it. All the while tears are pouring down my face because I know this is wrong and I know my mom would be so disappointed in me.

This continued for a while. I even moved in with my sister thinking that I would get the comfort and support I needed to stop. Know one knew about this. I was just so ashamed to even tell anyone.

But then sunshine came into life, by the name of Lew. I knew I had to stop because I could not burden anyone with this problem. For a while I did.

One day when I thought Lew was sleeping I went into the shower and purged. I don't know what came over me. But he heard.

He opened up the curtain and I was holding my knees, sobbing. He told me that he had suspected something was wrong because I would eat like a bird around him.

We had only been dating for 4 months and I thought for sure, I had just ruined what I thought was something special. He told me he would support me, if I got help and told my family what was going on.

So I was forced to expose my secret that I had been keeping for a year. Once I told my sisters they were shocked and in disbelief that someone so active would do a 180 and harm herself like that.

But they understood. We were all dealing with the loss in a different way.

I got help. I realized my bulimia was the only thing that I could control at the time of my mom's death. Since I was not able to control her dying, I was slowly hurting myself for it.

I vowed that I would help others with this. Which is why I went into the fitness industry. I wanted to inspire others to take care of their bodies. If I came across someone really struggling I wanted them to know that I was there.

I was there to help. Because it's okay to need help.

Momma Likeeee . . .

Yeah. Yeah. "Supposed" to be resting. I know. I had to break loose. This momma needed some major sunshine and pronto. It was worth it!

One eskimO Review . . .

I was recently given the chance to review One eskimO's new CD. They are a critically acclaimed English band, who's hit song "Kandi" has spent 4 weeks and counting on adult rock radio.

Billboard Magazine calls One eskimO's self-titled debut album "...catchy, ambient pop." and Los Angeles Times Magazine hails the song "Kandi" “a beautiful, aspirational track.” The album is available in stores now for everyone to enjoy.

When I popped the CD into my car, I was instantly impressed with One eskimO. I sometimes have trouble getting through a whole CD but I loved every song and didn't want to get out of the car. Very enjoyable.

The lead singer, Kristian Leontiou is such a great singer! His voice is absolutely amazing. He kind of has that John Maher vibe, which is not a bad thing. One eskimO really reaches out to the female audience with their wonderful lyrics and Leontiou's sultry voice. I hate to say it but he really makes this band complete.

I have to say though, my favorites are "Kandi" and "Amazing". Both songs are beautifully written and you will want to listen to them over and over again. "Kandi" is catchy with a laid back beat that you will want to keep hitting repeat on your ipod or at least I did! Where as "Amazing" has a wonderful french horn in the beginning, it's something you would want to play in the background for a dinner party with your friends.

Those are just my favorite but all the songs are all expertly crafted and nicely packaged into one great album! I have the CD in my car and it will to continue to be in there for a while. I think One eskimO is a group to watch and before long they will be played on the radio non-stop!

Here are their tour dates for this summer...and who doesn't love a summer concert?! I wish they were going to be coming to my town but I will just have to be patient.

May 22 Raleigh, NC Lincoln Theatre

May 24 Asheville, NC The Orange Peel

May 25 Charleston, SC The Music Farm

Jun 01 Toronto, ON The Guvernment

Jun 03 New York, NY The Beach at Governor’s Island

Jun 04 Boston, MA House of Blues

Jun 05 Essex Junction, VT Camplain Valley Expo

Jun 06 Hunter, NY Mountain Jam Festival

Jun 08 Royal Oak, MI Royal Oak Music Thtr

Jun 09 Grand Rapids, MI Orbit Room

Jun 12 Memphis, TN Minglewood Hall

Jun 13 Kansas City, MO Crossroads

Aug 14 Denver, CO Mile High Festival

I received the One eskimO CD to review on my blog. No other compensation was given. All opinions are based on my own thoughts.

Emergency Room Visit . . .

It was Friday night and I was thinking, hooray...I am getting over whatever I have been fighting off for the past two weeks.

Sinus infection, ear infections, stomach issues, throwing up, I thought I was heading down the home stretch to WELLNESS!

I went to bed tired. Which I have been since I have been sick. But thought nothing more of it.

Saturday morning around 4:30am my husband was up and getting ready for work. I turned over and noticed Will had hopped into bed with us and then rolled back over.

Next thing I know, Lew is grabbing my hands trying to sit me up and I keep falling over. He thought I was having a nightmare. I was wheezing so bad that my heart rate was elevating extremely fast and I wasn't getting air into my lungs. As Lew tried to get me in a chair in our room, I just fell over on him and past out.

I then hear Lew talking and I am not sure who is talking to but within 5 minutes there was an EMT sitting over me trying to get me on to a stretcher. I do remember the ambulance ride being very bumpy and feeling as if I were going to throw up. I got an IV and some anti-nausea meds. pumped into me before we were even at the hospital.

As I was waiting to get taken back to my bed, I saw Lew and Will and I just thought, please let me be okay. I could not imagine anything happening to me.

When I got back to a bed in the ER, I was seen by a nurse and a doctor pretty quickly and they decided to run a bunch of tests, get blood and chest xrays. I immediately started to freak out about the chest xray and it just made me think of my mom. My sister later told me she was so worried when she heard they were doing a chest xray, afraid that they might find some kind of tumor.

Thankfully, it was nothing to that extreme. The Dr. came back in and said the xray showed pneumonia. Along with that I had extremely low potassium. So they pumped me full of fluids and some potassium. I was there from 5am to about 1:00pm. I got sent home with some antibiotics and some potassium pills to take for 10 days.

I was so happy that my Pape came out and got Will to take to my sister's so that he did not have to see me laid up. He did have a great time while he was there and I was grateful for that.

I am still having trouble sleeping. In fact I think I am afraid of sleeping bc I am so worried that I might have another attack.

Doing anything gets me winded. I went to Target yesterday which was a bad idea bc I just wore myself out. Even Target couldn't cheer me up.

I still am in disbelief that I have pneumonia but at the same time relieved that all the questions of why I have been so sick have now been answered.

I have never been so scared in my life. Breathing that way and having the rapid heart rate really freaked me out.

I will never take for granted the pleasure of breathing.

Feast upon total cuteness . . .

Bloggy Break

My Dearest Bloggy followers and friends. I am going to be taking a break for a couple of days. I was rushed to the hospital on Saturday morning and found out that I have had a pneumonia for some time. I will feel you in on all the details in a couple of days. But for now I think I am just going to sit back and catch up on the blog reading I have missed. Thanks friends!

My Moment . . .

Today you took a shower with me. You love the water. You love taking a shower or a bath. Sometimes you like to take one with me. I don't mind because you normally like to use your markers on the walls and fill cups with water.

You are definitely my little Aquarius.

But today. I had a moment. It was like we were in slow motion. You stuck out your tongue, clinched your eyes shut and soaked in the water.

I saw myself in you. Running through the sprinkler as a child with my tongue out and drinking the water in. Big smiles and tons of laughs.

That's what you were doing today. Then I thought about you. Running through the sprinkler. Tongue out and drinking the water in.

And as if you were know what I was thinking, you wanted me to join in on your shower fun. So we did.

Then you asked for me to pick you up. You gave me a Willsey kiss. Then said, "I wuv you momma."

You are the best. Everyday I drink YOU in.

thank you pape . . . i love you .

Lately I have been not feeling so hot. I have gone to the doctors and they have run tests, so I am waiting on those. Stomach issues. No fun. So if I am on and off blogging, you will know why.

Last night I broke down and cried to my sister. I was just so tired of being sick and not knowing what the heck was going on with my insides.

Next thing you know I am getting a text message from my pape(dad) saying that he was going to come over and take me grocery shopping for "healthy/stomach friendly" foods. I can't remember the last time my dad has bought me groceries! But to hear that he was going to just come over made me feel a little better.

So this morning my dad and I went to my Safeway and picked up some stomach friendly food. Granted Lew had gone to the store and stocked up on enough Gatorade and chicken soup to feed the neighborhood, it still felt good to think of my pape as the "parent".

I think my pape has had a rough time trying to be one parent for four children because my mom was the rock. Granted we were older children but still looking after, caring, giving sound advice. I think he was unsure.

But today. Today, I felt loved. Today I felt like my mom was shining on me, showing my pape the way. To make me feel better. Thanks Pape. I love you more than air.

Tuesday Randomness . . .

• Mother's Day sucked bc I was sick yet again!
• So thankful Lew was off and able to take care of Will and actually feed him w/o my assistance.
• Starting to feel better but I am just so over this cold/flu season!
• Will is officially addicted to Wow Wow Wubzy. Not sure when that happened.
• He got a new tricycle and absolutely loves riding it around the house and he stores all his trains in the tricycle's trunk. Tricycle's trunk? Anyway.
• I was going to have crab legs for mother's day. Yeah. That didn't happen. I asked Lew if they were good. He said OF COURSE, they were awesome. Way to make me feel better!
• Going to catch up on all the dvr'd shows that I have missed since being sick.
• I am at 51 followers! Thanks for following me. I really and truly appreciate it!
• I got contacted to do a review for an AWESOME BAND and cannot wait to hear their whole cd.
• Lastly...Please pray for my BIL Kevin, he has been in the hospital since Friday. He was diagnosed with Pancreatitis(sp). We don't have a lot of info. on it yet but he has to change his whole way of living. No more alcohol and he has to change everything about the way he currently eats. We are all hoping and praying he is able to leave the hospital soon! If you know anyone who has this or you have info. on it, I would greatly appreciate it.

Thanks for listening to the randomness today. I will be back with a better post soon!

Thanks for . . .

Letting me be your Momma. You are all I could ask for on this day.

Happy Mother's Day!

When you thought I wasn't looking. . . a forward .

One of my dear friends, who is not only a great mother, she is an inspiration to me and so many others, has sent me a forward that is actually worth reading and I wanted to share it with you. Hope you were touched as I was.

A message every adult should read because children are watching you and doing as you do, not as you say.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you hang my first painting on the refrigerator, and I immediately wanted to paint another one.When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you feed a stray cat, and I learned that it was good to be kind to animals.?

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make my favorite cake for me, and I learned that the little things can be the special things in life.When you thought I wasn't looking I heard you say a prayer, and I knew that there is a God I could always talk to, and I learned to trust in Him.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you make ameal and take it to a friend who was sick, and I learned that we all have to help take care of each other.When you thought I wasn't looking I saw you take careof our house and everyone in it, and I learned we haveto take care of what we are given..

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw how youhandled your responsibilities, even when you didn't feel good, and I learned that I would have to be responsible when I grow up.When you thought I wasn't looking I saw tears comefrom your eyes, and I learned that sometimes things hurt, but it's all right to cry.

When you thought I wasn't looking I saw that you cared, and I wanted to be everything that I could be.When you thought I wasn't looking I learned most of life's lessons that I need to know to be a good and productive person when I grow up.

When you thought I wasn't looking I looked at you and wanted to say, "Thanks for all the things I saw when you thought I wasn't looking."

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply.Speak kindly...Leave the rest to God.

One Day . . .

Dear Will,

Right now you are my dear, sweet almost 2 1/2 year old. You love your mommy so much! I get hugs and kisses from you anytime I want them. When I say, "I love you, Bubsy." You always say, "I love you, mama!"

But one day, when you are grown, I am sure you will be too embarrassed to give me hugs and kisses. When I tell you that I love you, you probably won't say anything back and that is going to completely break my heart.

I wish I could save some of the hugs you give me now and open them when you get older and are less into hugging, but unfortunately, I can't.

So, if one day in the future you are reading this, and I'm near you do me a favor, come find me, put your arms around my neck and give me a big hug. Kiss me on the cheek and tell me, "I love you mom!" It will mean the world to me.

But for now, hope you don't mind but I am going to soak you all in and love you to pieces.

Happy 56th Birthday Mom.

Pour Your Heart Out . . . Happy Birthday Mom

Today I am joining in with Shell for her meme of Pour Your Heart Out. So if you have something that you want to get off your chest or just blog about...take a visit to Shell's and link up.

Friday would be my Mom's 56th Birthday.

It is hard to believe it has been almost 9 years since she has been gone.

It feels like I blinked and the years just passed me by.

I often day dream about how my mom and I would be right now. I am a grown woman now.

When she passed away I was a young college kid trying to figure out life. I felt like she left at a really bad time for me. Yes. I am being selfish. But I was just coming into womanhood and how the heck was I supposed to navigate it without her?

I had to grow up very quickly and be responsible. I mean I was the one that took her to all her treatments and had to make sure she got all her meds. on time. I don't think she wanted me to have to do that. But at the same time I think she was happy that it was me and no one else.

I miss that she did not see me get married. That she did not get to meet Will. Because I know that he would have melted her heart. After all he was the first grandson in 19 years. So I know she would have loved him to pieces.

It's just hard to go through life without your mom, your best friend.

What would we be doing for your 56th birthday? I am thinking that we would be going out to a Mexican restaurant, indulging in tons of chips and salsa and of course coronas with limes!

So today Mom, if you are reading this. Happy Birthday. I love you more than air.

a MEME you don't want to miss !

Wow....I promise this is my last post of the day. Not sure I have ever posted 3 times in a day but I wanted to play along with the motherhood truth in her meme. All you have to do is take pictures about your day. What you did...maybe it was outside with the kids, going to the grocery store, or going out to dinner.

So here is My Day in Pictures...a somewhat modified version of this since the motherhood truth is located in Australia, I wanted to make sure I was able to join in. So go do it! I wish I had time to do this everyday!

Fighting a sinus infection and a double ear infection....I am so over it. That is my vitamin C shot and antibiotics...what a great start

It is such a great day here! A change from the humidity. I just love this shot bc Will is playing with his favorite thing....a ball. We just got him the tricycle the other day and he runs to the ball.

We had to run to the grocery store to get some odds and ends...more cough medicine and such. But Will wanted this balloon. Isn't he sweet?

Lastly...this is an ongoing project for my MIL. I am making her a scrapbook for Mother's Day and her Birthday. I have to get it finished soon to send out to Chicago! I just love her diva glasses in that photo. She is holding Lew!

Now go and check out the motherhood truth!

Oh So Lonely . . .

I just signed up for twitter and I have no followers...will you follow me? I am still learning the ropes so bear with me but I would love to have followers so someone out in the twitter world can hear me.

Thanks!

bubsymomma is my twitter name

3rd Person Talking . . .

Will just recently started to comprehend that he in fact was Will. He would come or do what we said when we would call his name, but he is just now saying "I Will."

The cutest thing ever.

Now he has started talking in the 3rd person which to me is just so funny.

Here are some of the things that he is saying:

Will go down stairs mama
Will take bath
Will go outside
Will want more chex pease
Will tersty(thirsty)
Will go bye byes

He is an ever changing toddler and each day he brings more and more sunshine to my day.

Mama loves Will.

Bras . . . Yeah That's What I Said .

I pretty much live in sports bras...seeing how my profession kinda requires that I support them.

But I want to take you back about a year. I had finished breast feeding Bubsy a couple months prior and I really needed new feminine bras that made me feel good about myself.

I have always gone to Victoria's Secret and had good experiences. Well, I knew my breasts had gotten smaller and I was going to have to be measured again. Unfortunately I went shopping on an extremely busy day, the store was so hot, I noticed myself getting flustered when I was being shuffled from one sale person to the next. I almost started to cry. Here I am trying to find a cute/sexy bra after having a baby and no one is willing to help.

The manager saw the near tears in my eyes and measured me herself. Somehow I had majorly shrunk. I was not a 32C. So they gave me so many bras to try on, again I almost felt overwhelmed. Meanwhile Lew was out wondering with Will and I could hear Will crying, so I gave up and got the first bras I tried on not thinking if I felt comfortable in them.

Have you done that before? Just given in to somebody waiting for you or because you are so overwhelmed with choices, you just get flustered and give up?

So now I am in that boat again. I feel like the bras that I got pretty much sucked and I hate wearing them, so I have reverted back to bras that I got at Target. Nothing wrong with a Target bra but I just wanted something that was going to make me feel good.

If you don't mind me asking, where do you do your bra shopping and are you happy? Is there a brand you like that I should know about? Because my girls are ready for a new and pretty bra to make me feel better.